Funny No Soliciting We Already Found Jesus Door Mats

I made the following free printable No Soliciting sign for the greater good. Because let's be real with one another for a second. I've yet to hear one person say, "OMG, I love when solicitors ring my doorbell. They're so fun to chat with! In fact, I invited one back for dinner next week." That's right. No one appreciates strangers ringing their doorbell during nap time, bedtime, or any time, really. If I want a lawn treatment, I'll seek one out. If I want to know more about your religion, I'll Google it. There's no need to march up to my door and ask me.

The other day a pest control salesperson came through our neighborhood for a little door to door soliciting. She stopped by our house as our babysitter was walking out the door so I was trapped. I politely told her we weren't interested and that we already use a pest control service. She proceeded to ask me what company it is. Then, when I said I didn't have time to talk, she said, "Ok, I'll just come back later." No no no no NO. If I wanted her to come back later I would've said that. It's these relentless solicitors who hold you hostage on your own front porch that have ruined it for solicitors everywhere.

And listen, I know these people are just trying to make a living but they know what they're getting into. I think it's widely known that solicitors don't bring out the warm fuzzies in people. That's like getting into nursing and not knowing there will be bodily fluids involved.

A No Soliciting Sign is Born

After my encounter with pushy pest control girl, I cooked up this No Solicitor sign. It's to the point while also being humorous. The last line breaks the tension a little.

Don't ring the doorbell. Don't knock on the door. Don't make it weird.

I made the sign small in size because I like having an attractive front porch. Yes, this means solicitors will have to step foot on my front porch. But the hope is that they'll read the sign before touching our doorbell, think to themselves "these people mean business", turn around and walk away.

My hope is religious folk will also take the hint.

A couple months ago two Jehovah's Witnesses rang the doorbell. I failed to look at our security cameras and opened the door thinking it was someone I was expecting. Then, I was forced to enter into the most awkward conversation I'd participated in that month. In case anyone is unaware, it's extremely uncomfortable to open your door and have two complete strangers look up at you and say, "Good afternoon. May I read you a passage from Genesis?"

And you might be thinking, "What about Girl Scouts? Boy Scouts? Band/orchestra?" Well, like any neighborhood operating in 2019, ours has a Facebook group and parents post their kids' fundraising efforts in the group.

See, our porch is welcoming with the wreath and big 'hello' doormat, but the small No Soliciting sign sends the message that while we're nice people, you best not ring that doorbell.

You can download your own 2″ x 4″ No Soliciting sign below. Just right click that bad boy and save it to your computer. Print it. And attach with some tape. I used this tape.

For durability, I suggest printing the sign on card stock and laminating it. And for extra visibility, you can always string some fairy lights around it.

Here's a different sign that will hopefully apply to anyone attempting to ring your doorbell.

These signs are for personal use only.

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Source: https://www.twotwentyone.net/no-soliciting-sign/

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